Month: April 2017

Positive Parenting – Be There for Your Child!

“Children learn more from what you are than what you teach.” They are sensitive and at times stubborn; they get excited soon and get disappointed in the same speed. They need your time and your presence around. A happy family and a peaceful loving surrounding is very important for a child to grow well. In this hectic life we have packed schedules taking out some quality time for your children is tough but equally vital. You need to spend some hours with them before dropping them to school or surprise them with a beautiful evening plan. Kids need special care and attention!

Here is something which will help you towards positive parenting after all your child deserves the best.

Introspect – Introspection is vital for positive parenting. At the end of each day, review your behaviour and interactions with your child. Have your communications been one-sided or was your child was equally involved and interested? Have you been too compelling and do you reserve your Childs right to disagree? Watch out the quality of communication with your child is it inspiring, encouraging or instructing.

Encourage – Parents are the first teacher of their child, their taught values, principles and skills are most important. You need to encourage them because your encouragement is their real strength. Your child relies on you for his/her confidence and success. The way you encourage them and celebrate their success, with the same grace motivate them in their failures also. You should not mourn and Detroit the environment at home post their failure in any form rather teach them how to take it the right way.

Interact – Always spend some quality hours with your child, talk to them and not about academics, school or anything which can convert into something serious and argumentative. Of course such talks are important too but there are times for them do not always incorporate such topics in your conversation with your child. At times just sit with them and show interest in something they like and something they like talking about. During these conversations if you share some advice it is best taken by them. It doesn’t appear like a commandment and will help draft their personality better.

Seek Help – Seeking professional help from a family counsellor or a psychologist is no longer considered as a taboo. Rather in the fast paced life which we lead, at times it becomes important to take some external help to indentify the negative behavioural patterns and break them. Though in India it is still not that popular but it has definitely picked up pace now. If your child or even you feel uncomfortable about certain situation or maybe there is too much negativity around, make sure you break it before it ruins your family’s happiness.

Every parent want their child’s happiness and they do everything possible for it from choosing the best school in town for them, to giving them all facilities and fulfilling all their requirements. But sometimes what we miss is that little thing which our child wants from us at times it is some quality time with them, or may be a good outing or it can be just some encouraging talks. You need to know what’s going on in their life as you are one of the most important persons in it.

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How to Make Your Child Responsible?

As a parent you always have that habit to teach your child endless things – How to be caring, to be honest, to be a hard worker, to listen to elders and many more. But one trait that is high up on that list is how to be responsible!

Being responsible includes many learning’s in itself; somewhere it helps to enhance your Childs personality and moulds him/her in an appropriate direction

Raising a child with good manners is not that difficult, all you need is to be is a little careful, pay a little more attention and develop early good habits which help your child achieve a fruitful future.

Here are few guidelines, which if you follow can help you in the process:
Start Young

You can’t make sudden changes and raise immediate expectations from a teenager to act and behave responsibly. Children are carefree and take time to understand the seriousness of things. You need to start instilling in them the habits of responsibility at a younger age so that their personality is developed accordingly.

Let Them Help You

Don’t grumble and be annoyed while doing the usual housework. Invite your child to help you, may be simple dusting or a little help in the kitchen. This will make your child feel valued, maybe it makes your job a little longer but don’t worry your child would learn a lot from it.

Show Kids the Way

Play with a child’s skill level, you need to understand where they are missing and figure out how to teach them the same. If your child never enters kitchen involve him/her in simple tasks like washing fruits, laying the table etc. You first need to observe your child well to conclude on their habits.

Praise Them

Kids love to help, they want to help! To them, chores don’t feel like work. Keep up positive ambiance by offering specific praises for actions. “You hung your coat on the hook and I’m proud of you!” Or, “Thank you for emptying the garbage in your room!” Children will develop a sense of ownership for any repeated action. And this constant communication helps them take initiative in other situations as well.

Manage Your Expectations

Don’t raise your expectation too high! They are still children and won’t be able to deliver work to perfection, so don’t criticize or discourage them rather motivate them and recognize their work. Teach them how it is to be done and then let them grasp it with time.

 Provide Structure and Routine

Kids thrive on order, instead of offering rewards to get them to meet responsibilities, set up a morning routine with a positive end result. The small tasks like brush your teeth before going to bed or wish everyone good morning once they are up in the morning, should be part of their daily schedule.

Avoid Rewards

At least at first! Don’t assume a reward system has to be in place for your child to learn responsibility. While a reward chart can be effective for some kids, others respond just as well to praise, spending time with you and feeling the boost in their self-confidence. Save rewards for tasks that go above and beyond what you expect to be your child’s normal household responsibilities.

When your child says, “I forgot to bring my book home again,” he’s really saying, “It’s not my fault that I didn’t meet my responsibility.” You need to respond by saying, “We’re not talking about whose fault it is, we’re talking about whose responsibility it is.” In that way, you can shift the focus onto the child’s responsibilities and you won’t get stuck in an argument about the nature of the excuse. Just a little attention and your extra efforts can really make your child turn responsible.

Time to learn – How to talk to your Child!

“Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.” Parenting is the most crucial and vital responsibility which needs to be met with an understanding attitude and a capability to listen, learn and teach. You should understand that it’s not always the parents who teach and impart wisdom it can be the other way round too. Be prepared to learn new things, admire their thought process and have the willingness and openness to appreciate it.

Children literally imbibe everything which they see and hear around them, this goes a long way in building their personality.

At times when you are in the middle of things and in all that rush, you end up speaking out unintentional words which land up very negatively in a child’s mind. You might not mean it, it was just lack of time or some sort of confusion going around but it has a very bad impact on your child’s mind.

So, you need to be extra careful and watch what you speak and it does not limit to only them. Be careful while talking to others as well when children are in proximity, as it is you should always be polite and good while talking to others but be little more alert when children are involved. Little bit of effort and a strong will, will make it happen!

Watch out for these 10 things which you should refrain from saying to your child.

Never say – ‘you are a bad boy/girl’

Never feed them with negative thoughts or actions, don’t give them any kind of fear. It hampers a child’s self-esteem when you categorize them as a bad boy or a girl. Explain them things, talk to them about positive good things. Don’t tell them that doing a mistake or anything mischievous will make them bad rather make them understand how their actions can hurt others and they will learn values rather than fearing to be bad and doing the right thing out of compulsion.

Don’t Compare

Don’t ever do this mistake of passing statements like ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’ This not only inculcates a feeling of jealousy in them but also makes them feel like a failure. Don’t make them feel weak or incompetent in any manner, this may also develop a dislike between siblings.

A straight NO is too HARSH

If you keep saying no to them every now and then they will start losing faith in you. A straight no comes too harsh, modulate that no into something soft and polite and then say it. Instead of shouting out a NO to play inside the house tell them the weather is so good outside lets go in the park and play.

‘You can’t do this!’ is not the right way to say

Never shake a child’s self-confidence by de-motivating them, there might be certain things you know your child won’t be able to successfully accomplish but still never discourage him/her. There are better ways to put your point across, tell them do it and if you face any problem let me know, and we will do it together. This will encourage them to try new things and will also help build their confidence.

‘Don’t talk to me’ goes wrong

Never abandon your child, this will turn very negative and can have a very bad impact on a child. If they have done something wrong try explaining those things, listening to them and answering all their questions so that they understand their mistake and being careful in future.

Don’t say ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’

Never do any kind of gender discrimination between children, be it for small things even this brings negativity and in the long run inculcates disrespect in the mind of a child for the opposite gender.

‘You are too big to do this!’

Don’t deprive him/her of their childhood, they will eventually grow up but for now, let them enjoy their childhood and don’t expect them to behave like grownups. Yes they might be mischievous but they are allowed to be that at this tender change, teach them discipline but on the other hand let them enjoy their childhood too.

Keep in mind these small points and you will be able to deliver a better atmosphere to your child, not only you will be able to understand them better but also your child will love your company and will make you his/her secret sharer.

“Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.” Parenting is the most crucial and vital responsibility which needs to be met with an understanding attitude and a capability to listen, learn and teach. You should understand that it’s not always the parents who teach and impart wisdom it can be the other way round too. Be prepared to learn new things, admire their thought process and have the willingness and openness to appreciate it.

Children literally imbibe everything which they see and hear around them, this goes a long way in building their personality.

At times when you are in the middle of things and in all that rush, you end up speaking out unintentional words which land up very negatively in a child’s mind. You might not mean it, it was just lack of time or some sort of confusion going around but it has a very bad impact on your child’s mind.

So, you need to be extra careful and watch what you speak and it does not limit to only them. Be careful while talking to others as well when children are in proximity, as it is you should always be polite and good while talking to others but be little more alert when children are involved. Little bit of effort and a strong will, will make it happen!

Watch out for these 10 things which you should refrain from saying to your child.

Never say – ‘you are a bad boy/girl’

Never feed them with negative thoughts or actions, don’t give them any kind of fear. It hampers a child’s self-esteem when you categorize them as a bad boy or a girl. Explain them things, talk to them about positive good things. Don’t tell them that doing a mistake or anything mischievous will make them bad rather make them understand how their actions can hurt others and they will learn values rather than fearing to be bad and doing the right thing out of compulsion.

Don’t Compare

Don’t ever do this mistake of passing statements like ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’ This not only inculcates a feeling of jealousy in them but also makes them feel like a failure. Don’t make them feel weak or incompetent in any manner, this may also develop a dislike between siblings.

A straight NO is too HARSH

If you keep saying no to them every now and then they will start losing faith in you. A straight no comes too harsh, modulate that no into something soft and polite and then say it. Instead of shouting out a NO to play inside the house tell them the weather is so good outside lets go in the park and play.

‘You can’t do this!’ is not the right way to say

Never shake a child’s self-confidence by de-motivating them, there might be certain things you know your child won’t be able to successfully accomplish but still never discourage him/her. There are better ways to put your point across, tell them do it and if you face any problem let me know, and we will do it together. This will encourage them to try new things and will also help build their confidence.

‘Don’t talk to me’ goes wrong

Never abandon your child, this will turn very negative and can have a very bad impact on a child. If they have done something wrong try explaining those things, listening to them and answering all their questions so that they understand their mistake and being careful in future.

Don’t say ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’

Never do any kind of gender discrimination between children, be it for small things even this brings negativity and in the long run inculcates disrespect in the mind of a child for the opposite gender.

‘You are too big to do this!’

Don’t deprive him/her of their childhood, they will eventually grow up but for now, let them enjoy their childhood and don’t expect them to behave like grownups. Yes they might be mischievous but they are allowed to be that at this tender change, teach them discipline but on the other hand let them enjoy their childhood too.

Keep in mind these small points and you will be able to deliver a better atmosphere to your child, not only you will be able to understand them better but also your child will love your company and will make you his/her secret sharer.

Be your Childs stress buster not stress creator!

A happy and secure environment is required for a child’s growth and success. In India, education and academics have forever played crucial roles and have acted as a focal point of stress for students. Parent’s unusually high pressure makes it, even worse, the peer pressure is emergence and students are under great pressure to perform. More than encouraging learning we tend to encourage the importance of good grades and high percentages which corrupt the whole process.

India has one of the highest suicide rates among the age group of 15 to 29. The statics doesn’t show a good picture of our country and with such ongoing process, we are not doing any good. Children are very sensitive; no matter they speak boldly and state forward they still have a very emotional mindset. You need to praise them, make them feel they are important a simple thought of negativity can damage their self confidence and ruin their personality.

Watch out for these signs in your child and if you see any, be alert and take measures because you child may be under stress. Immediate actions and a caring behaviour and in no time improve the situation but you need to be careful and act.

Disinterest: Being disinterested is one the greatest sign of a stressed child and it not only pertains to studies but every activity. If your child shows signs of disinterest in all his activities like studying, saying no to playing or to go out with friends in the park etc mean that he is just being reluctant for everything, these acts show a clear sign of him/her being in stress. Take measure and act quick, talk with them and make them involve in small activities and soon they we will revive.

Frequent bouts of sickness: Watch out for frequent signs of sickness in your child, they being young and unaware are unable to understand and figure out what’s wrong and therefore end up hiding their actual problem behind complains like headache, stomach ache etc. Their fear of anxiety over powers them and hence they are unable to share it with anyone, be alert and if you child complains frequently then get a proper medical check up done to be on a safer side.

Negativity: Negative behaviour in a child is a cause of concern at times being angry or upset over something is fine but when it comes to his/her daily routine then it’s an alarming point. A Childs state of mind is a complex thing to study, negative behaviour includes his/her, mood swings, aggressions, social isolation etc.

Engagement in Drugs: When your excessive pressure is not able to meet the required result at times it has a very adverse effect in a Childs mind and they get diverted towards smoking, drug addiction etc. This can be accounted as an inability to deal with pressure.

Underachievement: Falling in exams and not able to achieve good grades in result can be because they are not that good in it or were unprepared but failing in things which they are really good at is a sign of problem. Make sure they don’t leave their hobbies and give them that space to enjoy their privacy.

Stress and anxiety is raising cause of concern in today’s generation watch out for any unusual behaviour in your child and keep in mind the above mentioned points. Keep talking to them because that in the best medicine for a person suffering from anxiety or depression.

Hear out these Parents, to know your child better!

‘School is a building which has four walls with tomorrow inside.’ When we enter the gates we are unaware of what’s next but when we leave them at the end of our journey we know what’s next in life. We draft our personality there, get our identity and prepare ourselves to face the real world.

Now in today’s time, for parents to select an appropriate school for their children is a challenge. The few common questions which revolve around every parent’s mind are –

Whether the school and its’ environment is good for their child?

 Is the school competent enough with good faculty and rehearsed syllabus?

Is the school future ready for this fast pacing world?

Will the school be able to mould the child academically, morally, globally and culturally?

We held a conversation with parents whose children are in different age groups and got to know their point of view regarding what is the school giving their child and where do their expectations lie.

In candid conversation with parents in random:

Question: As a parent of class 1st student what did you initially look for in the school before making your choice?

We were very confused in the beginning as all the schools were advertising themselves at their best. It was like I am out in the market to buy a saree, literally every day I use to end up hearing a new option and getting further confused. This was making the decision tough for us, so we decided to set our parameters and measure the school on them.

As per, our list, what we wanted in our child’s school is to provide a healthy environment to our child. We wanted it to focus on holistic development of my child and should make him future ready 12 years down the lane. We were keen to go for the school which provided latest teaching methods and followed the modern approach in education. We wanted our child to grow on all grounds, with academics, sports, and cultural events should also be the part of the school. We wanted a school which not only benefits our child’s present but his future as well.

(Mother of Class 1st Student, Age: 33)

Question: At the age of 8 to 12, a child is developing the most, mentally, emotionally, socially and physically, how according to you, school plays a role during these years for the right growth and development of your child?

We choose the best school for our child according to our capability and awareness. Once the child is admitted in the school then we come to know the real progress of the school through the child. Our child is an above average student he manages to come in top 10 of the class and is doing pretty well academically. At this age, the bond between the student and teacher plays a vital role; either the child gets comfortable and enjoys the school environment or starts to face adjustment issues. Our child initially faced some issues due to which his behaviour was getting affected. He used to avoid going to school and started lying about things. We got worried about that and decided to meet his teacher.

After several meetings we were able to resolve this problem and finally my son started loving his school. His teacher was a great help, she understood the problem so well and got into my son’s comfortable zone that he no longer had any adjustment issues. In the growing years a comforting environment, an understanding teacher to whom the child can easily approach and speak to and an overall growth of the child turn out to be the key factors.

(Parents of class 7th Student, Age 38 & 45 respectively)

Questions: At the latter part of the school when the children think they are already adults, how according to you, school comes into the role in showing them the right direction and how?

When children enter the school they are innocent building blocks, it is difficult to manage them and give them a direction but latter half of their journey turns out to be even more strenuous. They have already developed a thought process, created an identity, and have left a mark of their personality, now moulding them further is a task. My daughter is average in her academics, her real interest lies in arts. She has been into painting and drawing ever since her childhood. At times she overlooks her studies for that, which was my growing cause of concern. Her boards were approaching and she was not that serious.

I always supported her in whatever she wanted to do and respected her interest for arts but now was the high time she should concentrate on her studies.  Debating and yelling at her was not effective, I decided to visit her school once. After, meeting her teacher I was relaxed she told me that required changes need to be initialled in her without provoking her. At this age children consider themselves to be grown-ups and we should understand that. Keeping in line to this we should develop a bond with them so that we also talk with them as adults and discuss things at ease and come to conclusions with them, not against them.

(Mother of class 10th Student, Age, 42)

Everyone has their roles to be played; some are parents, some teachers and others are students. Every role is important and dependent on the other. Here we had a conversation with some of the parents and got to know how school really helps in turning out the Childs future successfully. It’s not the teacher who is always strict, it’s not the parents who always don’t understand and it’s not that child who is always unmannerly, it’s the right proposition which is required for a successful story.