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Natural Learning is the Classic Learning!

Spending vacations at grandmother’s home, playing out in the park, cycling in the evening and enjoying the childhood games were a beautiful part of our memories. These memories not only gave us pleasure and enjoyment but made us learn many valuable lessons of life. The concept of team spirit was practically learned on the fields while putting our 100% in a cricket match to make our team win. The idea of unity is strength was learned while trying to dribble the basket ball for the first time. The concept of sharing was imbibed from the craft sessions in which we shared our colours and ideas to make the masterpiece together.

These childhood memories were an important learning ground for the children earlier but today, somewhere technology has given it a new version. It’s not that technology is bad and only has adverse effects but somewhere their overuse has affected our kid’s natural process of learning. In today’s time, kids enter into their isolated world with their video games and I-pads and miss out a lot. Inculcating empathy, a sense of care and the concept of sharing in the kids has become difficult as they resist in moving out of their isolated world.

As parents and teachers we need to cater to their isolation, because in no time they will get habitual to it and then taking them out of this zone will become very difficult.

Here we enlist certain points which as parents/teachers or guides  we need to follow and keep in mind to develop the much required qualities of empathy, caring, sharing, unity and more in our kids.

The Art of Observation

More than what is been said, how that has been said, the tone, the body language, the gestures count a lot. Now as adults and experience holders of life we have learned this art of decoding but our kids are just the beginners in this game of life. So, you need to teach them the art of observation. Let them explore and make them meet people; it can be their friends from school, the colony you stay in, relatives, siblings and more. When they will start meeting more people they will start learning the different behaviour patterns. Talk about these meetings of friends and relatives with them later and try to know how they feel about it. This will make them more observant and will make them learn how to deal with different behaviour patterns.
Become their co-readers

Good books not only add knowledge but also make kid compassionate and responsive. Many such books must be a part of their reading list, just be aware of the story and the characters in it. Discuss the stories or a particular scene in it with them and try and know what they feel about the entire thing.

Involve them in Act of Kindness

It doesn’t have to be big, anything small and sensitive enough would do. Asking them to share some of their toys and clothes with children who need them, asking them to share their lunch box with their friends in case his/her friend is not carrying one. Telling them how getting a smile on someone’s face makes you feel great about yourself. These small things are enough to introduce them the big concept of kindness.

Get to know their friends: During the vacation or weekends plan a get together for their friends don’t make your presence annoying or uncomfortable for them rather come up with something new. Some interesting conversation or an engaging game and in the process learn about their friends, how is their company and if they are in the right group matters a lot.

The world is changing and the pace of development is increasing every day let this development benefit your child but be ready to protect them from the adverse effects as well. Let the classics of learning be the same for them as they were for you, so they share your reflection!

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A Disclaimer for Parents Before Result Time

The season of examination has just subsided and few schools are still about to wrap up, the pressure, tension, and seriousness in the atmosphere was about to clear when the parents start with their moles of expectations and unbearable pressure for a good result.

Excessive academic pressure on kids can backfire severely and end up affecting the child negatively. The undue pressure and a constant greed of expectation from them may destroy a child’s calibre and a setback may break down his/her self-respect and confidence.

Worry, Worry, Worry!!

By parent’s constant pressure to perform better a child can feel less inspired and more threatened. You need to know and judge the child well, there are some who are confident and bold but some are shy and introvert. The manner to treat a child depends on his/her nature and behaviour. The pressure can make them feel paralyzed and then they won’t actually learn but just get mechanical about the whole process. They start feeling that they are not good enough and this invites stress and anxiety which can be very dangerous for their mental state. If your child expresses any signs of stress or anxiety take it seriously and talk to him/her about it. Help them feel better through encouraging talks and supportive atmosphere at home.

“I’m not good enough”

Your constant pressure and high expectations can make them fall a prey to low self-esteem and loss of confidence. If they miss your mark of expectation by the minimal difference it can cause bad mental impact in their minds. They will start believing that grades and marks are the only parameters to judge their hard work and efforts, which will cause them harm in the longer run. Spend time with your child and emphasize to them the importance of working hard and giving their best and that marks are just an output and you do not judge them on it.

Bad Behaviour

Too much pressure to do well in school can involve kids in unethical practices as well. Your continuous pressure to get an A+ grade for all subjects can threaten a child and giving up to his/her fear they end up cheating and getting involved in all such practices. At times too much stress and anxiety may also involve them in malpractices of drugs and alcohol, so keep a watch on your Childs behaviour and never stress the fact that marks are the only motive of their life.

Always be there for your Child

Every parent wants their child to do well in life and that’s one reason they pressure their child for academic growth but always remember encouragement is better than pressure. Understand your child and his/her emotions, every child is different so don’t compare. They will know the seriousness of doing well in exams and living up to your expectation but let them live their childhood and enjoy their innocence.

Let them choose their favourite subject and give them the time to go out and play, they will make their future just give them their space.

How to Make Your Child Responsible?

As a parent you always have that habit to teach your child endless things – How to be caring, to be honest, to be a hard worker, to listen to elders and many more. But one trait that is high up on that list is how to be responsible!

Being responsible includes many learning’s in itself; somewhere it helps to enhance your Childs personality and moulds him/her in an appropriate direction

Raising a child with good manners is not that difficult, all you need is to be is a little careful, pay a little more attention and develop early good habits which help your child achieve a fruitful future.

Here are few guidelines, which if you follow can help you in the process:
Start Young

You can’t make sudden changes and raise immediate expectations from a teenager to act and behave responsibly. Children are carefree and take time to understand the seriousness of things. You need to start instilling in them the habits of responsibility at a younger age so that their personality is developed accordingly.

Let Them Help You

Don’t grumble and be annoyed while doing the usual housework. Invite your child to help you, may be simple dusting or a little help in the kitchen. This will make your child feel valued, maybe it makes your job a little longer but don’t worry your child would learn a lot from it.

Show Kids the Way

Play with a child’s skill level, you need to understand where they are missing and figure out how to teach them the same. If your child never enters kitchen involve him/her in simple tasks like washing fruits, laying the table etc. You first need to observe your child well to conclude on their habits.

Praise Them

Kids love to help, they want to help! To them, chores don’t feel like work. Keep up positive ambiance by offering specific praises for actions. “You hung your coat on the hook and I’m proud of you!” Or, “Thank you for emptying the garbage in your room!” Children will develop a sense of ownership for any repeated action. And this constant communication helps them take initiative in other situations as well.

Manage Your Expectations

Don’t raise your expectation too high! They are still children and won’t be able to deliver work to perfection, so don’t criticize or discourage them rather motivate them and recognize their work. Teach them how it is to be done and then let them grasp it with time.

 Provide Structure and Routine

Kids thrive on order, instead of offering rewards to get them to meet responsibilities, set up a morning routine with a positive end result. The small tasks like brush your teeth before going to bed or wish everyone good morning once they are up in the morning, should be part of their daily schedule.

Avoid Rewards

At least at first! Don’t assume a reward system has to be in place for your child to learn responsibility. While a reward chart can be effective for some kids, others respond just as well to praise, spending time with you and feeling the boost in their self-confidence. Save rewards for tasks that go above and beyond what you expect to be your child’s normal household responsibilities.

When your child says, “I forgot to bring my book home again,” he’s really saying, “It’s not my fault that I didn’t meet my responsibility.” You need to respond by saying, “We’re not talking about whose fault it is, we’re talking about whose responsibility it is.” In that way, you can shift the focus onto the child’s responsibilities and you won’t get stuck in an argument about the nature of the excuse. Just a little attention and your extra efforts can really make your child turn responsible.

Time to learn – How to talk to your Child!

“Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.” Parenting is the most crucial and vital responsibility which needs to be met with an understanding attitude and a capability to listen, learn and teach. You should understand that it’s not always the parents who teach and impart wisdom it can be the other way round too. Be prepared to learn new things, admire their thought process and have the willingness and openness to appreciate it.

Children literally imbibe everything which they see and hear around them, this goes a long way in building their personality.

At times when you are in the middle of things and in all that rush, you end up speaking out unintentional words which land up very negatively in a child’s mind. You might not mean it, it was just lack of time or some sort of confusion going around but it has a very bad impact on your child’s mind.

So, you need to be extra careful and watch what you speak and it does not limit to only them. Be careful while talking to others as well when children are in proximity, as it is you should always be polite and good while talking to others but be little more alert when children are involved. Little bit of effort and a strong will, will make it happen!

Watch out for these 10 things which you should refrain from saying to your child.

Never say – ‘you are a bad boy/girl’

Never feed them with negative thoughts or actions, don’t give them any kind of fear. It hampers a child’s self-esteem when you categorize them as a bad boy or a girl. Explain them things, talk to them about positive good things. Don’t tell them that doing a mistake or anything mischievous will make them bad rather make them understand how their actions can hurt others and they will learn values rather than fearing to be bad and doing the right thing out of compulsion.

Don’t Compare

Don’t ever do this mistake of passing statements like ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’ This not only inculcates a feeling of jealousy in them but also makes them feel like a failure. Don’t make them feel weak or incompetent in any manner, this may also develop a dislike between siblings.

A straight NO is too HARSH

If you keep saying no to them every now and then they will start losing faith in you. A straight no comes too harsh, modulate that no into something soft and polite and then say it. Instead of shouting out a NO to play inside the house tell them the weather is so good outside lets go in the park and play.

‘You can’t do this!’ is not the right way to say

Never shake a child’s self-confidence by de-motivating them, there might be certain things you know your child won’t be able to successfully accomplish but still never discourage him/her. There are better ways to put your point across, tell them do it and if you face any problem let me know, and we will do it together. This will encourage them to try new things and will also help build their confidence.

‘Don’t talk to me’ goes wrong

Never abandon your child, this will turn very negative and can have a very bad impact on a child. If they have done something wrong try explaining those things, listening to them and answering all their questions so that they understand their mistake and being careful in future.

Don’t say ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’

Never do any kind of gender discrimination between children, be it for small things even this brings negativity and in the long run inculcates disrespect in the mind of a child for the opposite gender.

‘You are too big to do this!’

Don’t deprive him/her of their childhood, they will eventually grow up but for now, let them enjoy their childhood and don’t expect them to behave like grownups. Yes they might be mischievous but they are allowed to be that at this tender change, teach them discipline but on the other hand let them enjoy their childhood too.

Keep in mind these small points and you will be able to deliver a better atmosphere to your child, not only you will be able to understand them better but also your child will love your company and will make you his/her secret sharer.

“Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.” Parenting is the most crucial and vital responsibility which needs to be met with an understanding attitude and a capability to listen, learn and teach. You should understand that it’s not always the parents who teach and impart wisdom it can be the other way round too. Be prepared to learn new things, admire their thought process and have the willingness and openness to appreciate it.

Children literally imbibe everything which they see and hear around them, this goes a long way in building their personality.

At times when you are in the middle of things and in all that rush, you end up speaking out unintentional words which land up very negatively in a child’s mind. You might not mean it, it was just lack of time or some sort of confusion going around but it has a very bad impact on your child’s mind.

So, you need to be extra careful and watch what you speak and it does not limit to only them. Be careful while talking to others as well when children are in proximity, as it is you should always be polite and good while talking to others but be little more alert when children are involved. Little bit of effort and a strong will, will make it happen!

Watch out for these 10 things which you should refrain from saying to your child.

Never say – ‘you are a bad boy/girl’

Never feed them with negative thoughts or actions, don’t give them any kind of fear. It hampers a child’s self-esteem when you categorize them as a bad boy or a girl. Explain them things, talk to them about positive good things. Don’t tell them that doing a mistake or anything mischievous will make them bad rather make them understand how their actions can hurt others and they will learn values rather than fearing to be bad and doing the right thing out of compulsion.

Don’t Compare

Don’t ever do this mistake of passing statements like ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’ This not only inculcates a feeling of jealousy in them but also makes them feel like a failure. Don’t make them feel weak or incompetent in any manner, this may also develop a dislike between siblings.

A straight NO is too HARSH

If you keep saying no to them every now and then they will start losing faith in you. A straight no comes too harsh, modulate that no into something soft and polite and then say it. Instead of shouting out a NO to play inside the house tell them the weather is so good outside lets go in the park and play.

‘You can’t do this!’ is not the right way to say

Never shake a child’s self-confidence by de-motivating them, there might be certain things you know your child won’t be able to successfully accomplish but still never discourage him/her. There are better ways to put your point across, tell them do it and if you face any problem let me know, and we will do it together. This will encourage them to try new things and will also help build their confidence.

‘Don’t talk to me’ goes wrong

Never abandon your child, this will turn very negative and can have a very bad impact on a child. If they have done something wrong try explaining those things, listening to them and answering all their questions so that they understand their mistake and being careful in future.

Don’t say ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’

Never do any kind of gender discrimination between children, be it for small things even this brings negativity and in the long run inculcates disrespect in the mind of a child for the opposite gender.

‘You are too big to do this!’

Don’t deprive him/her of their childhood, they will eventually grow up but for now, let them enjoy their childhood and don’t expect them to behave like grownups. Yes they might be mischievous but they are allowed to be that at this tender change, teach them discipline but on the other hand let them enjoy their childhood too.

Keep in mind these small points and you will be able to deliver a better atmosphere to your child, not only you will be able to understand them better but also your child will love your company and will make you his/her secret sharer.

Be your Childs stress buster not stress creator!

A happy and secure environment is required for a child’s growth and success. In India, education and academics have forever played crucial roles and have acted as a focal point of stress for students. Parent’s unusually high pressure makes it, even worse, the peer pressure is emergence and students are under great pressure to perform. More than encouraging learning we tend to encourage the importance of good grades and high percentages which corrupt the whole process.

India has one of the highest suicide rates among the age group of 15 to 29. The statics doesn’t show a good picture of our country and with such ongoing process, we are not doing any good. Children are very sensitive; no matter they speak boldly and state forward they still have a very emotional mindset. You need to praise them, make them feel they are important a simple thought of negativity can damage their self confidence and ruin their personality.

Watch out for these signs in your child and if you see any, be alert and take measures because you child may be under stress. Immediate actions and a caring behaviour and in no time improve the situation but you need to be careful and act.

Disinterest: Being disinterested is one the greatest sign of a stressed child and it not only pertains to studies but every activity. If your child shows signs of disinterest in all his activities like studying, saying no to playing or to go out with friends in the park etc mean that he is just being reluctant for everything, these acts show a clear sign of him/her being in stress. Take measure and act quick, talk with them and make them involve in small activities and soon they we will revive.

Frequent bouts of sickness: Watch out for frequent signs of sickness in your child, they being young and unaware are unable to understand and figure out what’s wrong and therefore end up hiding their actual problem behind complains like headache, stomach ache etc. Their fear of anxiety over powers them and hence they are unable to share it with anyone, be alert and if you child complains frequently then get a proper medical check up done to be on a safer side.

Negativity: Negative behaviour in a child is a cause of concern at times being angry or upset over something is fine but when it comes to his/her daily routine then it’s an alarming point. A Childs state of mind is a complex thing to study, negative behaviour includes his/her, mood swings, aggressions, social isolation etc.

Engagement in Drugs: When your excessive pressure is not able to meet the required result at times it has a very adverse effect in a Childs mind and they get diverted towards smoking, drug addiction etc. This can be accounted as an inability to deal with pressure.

Underachievement: Falling in exams and not able to achieve good grades in result can be because they are not that good in it or were unprepared but failing in things which they are really good at is a sign of problem. Make sure they don’t leave their hobbies and give them that space to enjoy their privacy.

Stress and anxiety is raising cause of concern in today’s generation watch out for any unusual behaviour in your child and keep in mind the above mentioned points. Keep talking to them because that in the best medicine for a person suffering from anxiety or depression.