“Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.” Parenting is the most crucial and vital responsibility which needs to be met with an understanding attitude and a capability to listen, learn and teach. You should understand that it’s not always the parents who teach and impart wisdom it can be the other way round too. Be prepared to learn new things, admire their thought process and have the willingness and openness to appreciate it.
Children literally imbibe everything which they see and hear around them, this goes a long way in building their personality.
At times when you are in the middle of things and in all that rush, you end up speaking out unintentional words which land up very negatively in a child’s mind. You might not mean it, it was just lack of time or some sort of confusion going around but it has a very bad impact on your child’s mind.
So, you need to be extra careful and watch what you speak and it does not limit to only them. Be careful while talking to others as well when children are in proximity, as it is you should always be polite and good while talking to others but be little more alert when children are involved. Little bit of effort and a strong will, will make it happen!
Watch out for these 10 things which you should refrain from saying to your child.
Never say – ‘you are a bad boy/girl’
Never feed them with negative thoughts or actions, don’t give them any kind of fear. It hampers a child’s self-esteem when you categorize them as a bad boy or a girl. Explain them things, talk to them about positive good things. Don’t tell them that doing a mistake or anything mischievous will make them bad rather make them understand how their actions can hurt others and they will learn values rather than fearing to be bad and doing the right thing out of compulsion.
Don’t Compare
Don’t ever do this mistake of passing statements like ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’ This not only inculcates a feeling of jealousy in them but also makes them feel like a failure. Don’t make them feel weak or incompetent in any manner, this may also develop a dislike between siblings.
A straight NO is too HARSH
If you keep saying no to them every now and then they will start losing faith in you. A straight no comes too harsh, modulate that no into something soft and polite and then say it. Instead of shouting out a NO to play inside the house tell them the weather is so good outside lets go in the park and play.
‘You can’t do this!’ is not the right way to say
Never shake a child’s self-confidence by de-motivating them, there might be certain things you know your child won’t be able to successfully accomplish but still never discourage him/her. There are better ways to put your point across, tell them do it and if you face any problem let me know, and we will do it together. This will encourage them to try new things and will also help build their confidence.
‘Don’t talk to me’ goes wrong
Never abandon your child, this will turn very negative and can have a very bad impact on a child. If they have done something wrong try explaining those things, listening to them and answering all their questions so that they understand their mistake and being careful in future.
Don’t say ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’
Never do any kind of gender discrimination between children, be it for small things even this brings negativity and in the long run inculcates disrespect in the mind of a child for the opposite gender.
‘You are too big to do this!’
Don’t deprive him/her of their childhood, they will eventually grow up but for now, let them enjoy their childhood and don’t expect them to behave like grownups. Yes they might be mischievous but they are allowed to be that at this tender change, teach them discipline but on the other hand let them enjoy their childhood too.
Keep in mind these small points and you will be able to deliver a better atmosphere to your child, not only you will be able to understand them better but also your child will love your company and will make you his/her secret sharer.
“Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.” Parenting is the most crucial and vital responsibility which needs to be met with an understanding attitude and a capability to listen, learn and teach. You should understand that it’s not always the parents who teach and impart wisdom it can be the other way round too. Be prepared to learn new things, admire their thought process and have the willingness and openness to appreciate it.
Children literally imbibe everything which they see and hear around them, this goes a long way in building their personality.
At times when you are in the middle of things and in all that rush, you end up speaking out unintentional words which land up very negatively in a child’s mind. You might not mean it, it was just lack of time or some sort of confusion going around but it has a very bad impact on your child’s mind.
So, you need to be extra careful and watch what you speak and it does not limit to only them. Be careful while talking to others as well when children are in proximity, as it is you should always be polite and good while talking to others but be little more alert when children are involved. Little bit of effort and a strong will, will make it happen!
Watch out for these 10 things which you should refrain from saying to your child.
Never say – ‘you are a bad boy/girl’
Never feed them with negative thoughts or actions, don’t give them any kind of fear. It hampers a child’s self-esteem when you categorize them as a bad boy or a girl. Explain them things, talk to them about positive good things. Don’t tell them that doing a mistake or anything mischievous will make them bad rather make them understand how their actions can hurt others and they will learn values rather than fearing to be bad and doing the right thing out of compulsion.
Don’t Compare
Don’t ever do this mistake of passing statements like ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’ This not only inculcates a feeling of jealousy in them but also makes them feel like a failure. Don’t make them feel weak or incompetent in any manner, this may also develop a dislike between siblings.
A straight NO is too HARSH
If you keep saying no to them every now and then they will start losing faith in you. A straight no comes too harsh, modulate that no into something soft and polite and then say it. Instead of shouting out a NO to play inside the house tell them the weather is so good outside lets go in the park and play.
‘You can’t do this!’ is not the right way to say
Never shake a child’s self-confidence by de-motivating them, there might be certain things you know your child won’t be able to successfully accomplish but still never discourage him/her. There are better ways to put your point across, tell them do it and if you face any problem let me know, and we will do it together. This will encourage them to try new things and will also help build their confidence.
‘Don’t talk to me’ goes wrong
Never abandon your child, this will turn very negative and can have a very bad impact on a child. If they have done something wrong try explaining those things, listening to them and answering all their questions so that they understand their mistake and being careful in future.
Don’t say ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’
Never do any kind of gender discrimination between children, be it for small things even this brings negativity and in the long run inculcates disrespect in the mind of a child for the opposite gender.
‘You are too big to do this!’
Don’t deprive him/her of their childhood, they will eventually grow up but for now, let them enjoy their childhood and don’t expect them to behave like grownups. Yes they might be mischievous but they are allowed to be that at this tender change, teach them discipline but on the other hand let them enjoy their childhood too.
Keep in mind these small points and you will be able to deliver a better atmosphere to your child, not only you will be able to understand them better but also your child will love your company and will make you his/her secret sharer.
DPS Indirapuram 
Well said even in a rush of busy life parents should never talk to kids in a negative way
It’s nice to know about delhi public school. The Bay International school which is an Islamic international school Chennai is well known for its success rate and manners.
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